It seems like the thing we are most resistant to is change. When we hear we need to change something in our lives, we get defensive. We get mad. We start to tell people why they are not qualified to tell us why we need to change. But 9 times out of 10, we know deep inside that we need to make some adjustments. I think we have a dark view of change. When we think of change, we think that it makes us bad or guilty – like there is something wrong with us.
But it’s not always true.
What if we start to look at change as something positive and necessary? Change is something we can’t run from. The minute we are conceived, we begin changing. The minute we are born, more changes take place. We are growing.
Fighting change is tiresome. Change is always happening. We can’t stop it. When we try to go against what’s natural, we do more harm to ourselves than good.
What is change? What does it mean?
The verb change, which shows action, means to alter or transform.The noun change means a transformation, modification, or alteration.
A tadpole changes into a frog. A caterpillar changes into a butterfly. A baby girl grows into a woman. A baby boy grows into a man. Carbon turns into diamonds. Spring turns into summer, summer turns into fall, fall turns into winter and winter into spring. Things are constantly changing around us.
With that, we can assume that there is going to be a time when we will change, or even be forced to change.
When I was a baby, I had to eat baby food because my baby body could not handle foods in their original form. The food had to change for baby Michelle to eat it. But as time went on, I started to grow. Eventually my body grew, and baby food was not holding me. It was not doing what it did for me in the past. I would have to eat more to be full, and baby food just couldn’t satisfy me anymore. One day my mom tried to give me baby food, and I would not eat it. When she tried to give it to me, I would not open my mouth. My mom called her mom and said, “I don’t know what to do! Michelle won’t eat her baby food. My Grandmommy told her that she needed to learn how to cook and cook real food for me. I had outgrown baby food. I was ready for real food. I needed food that was not altered, but in its original form. Because my body had changed, I was now able to digest food in its original form, and it was exactly what I needed.
There were a couple of needed changes going on in this situation. I, baby Michelle, was growing and changing. My mom, who didn’t know how to cook, now had to learn to cook for her growing/changing baby. The fact that I was growing was a good change. My mom learning how to cook was a good change, but it required more from her to make this change. I just needed to eat, and I would change, but my mom had to learn a new skill to change. She had to learn about seasonings, measurements, and what goes with what, for the food to taste good. It involved a lot of trial and error, but it was a necessary change for the good of her child.
Could you imagine what would have happened if she had never fed me real food, but instead, tried to keep me on baby food? I would have had to eat about 15 jars of baby food. I could have become malnourished and stopped growing properly. I could have developed some major issues. My mom was willing to make the necessary changes to meet the need of her growing child.
Let’s talk about a different change.
In 2012, I’m minding my own business, living a happy life, when one day, I woke up and could not fit into my clothes. I had to go find all of the clothes I had that had stretch to them, because if they didn’t, I could not fit into them. For months I was squeezing myself into clothes that did not fit. I was so uncomfortable! But I refused to buy new clothes, because I kept telling myself that I was going to lose weight. Plus, I had all of these great high quality clothes that I didn’t want to let go. I was diagnosed with Hypothyroidism in 2010, and gaining weight and not being able to lose is a symptom. I didn’t want to admit that something was wrong. I figured if I kept being uncomfortable, eventually, I could will myself to change. It just wasn’t true.
One day I had to keep it real with myself. I said, Michelle, your clothes do not fit. Your body is different, and it may never change. You need to find out what size you are and go buy new clothes.
It’s not a good feeling when you are not comfortable in your clothes – when you have to constantly pull and tug, when your bra doesn’t fit, and your underwear always gives you a wedgie.
I finally went shopping. I use to be able to shop anywhere, but at this moment, I knew I needed to shop somewhere that had clothes that would fit me. I went to one of my favorite stores, Lane Bryant. I had been a size 16, so I picked up a size 18, and it didn’t really fit. For a hot second, I thought to myself, I can make this work. It wasn’t as uncomfortable as what I had before, and then I thought, I can lose some weight to fit in it better.I had to laugh at myself and say, Girl go get you the next size up, and be completely comfortable.So I went up to a size 20. I finally felt comfortable.
Clothes that don’t fit do something to your confidence. I was uncomfortable, and my posture changed. I was always worried about my stomach hanging out or my side rolls showing. My bra didn’t fit, and I was spilling out of it. I was not looking and feeling good.
When I was able to put clothes on that fit, I felt more comfortable. I was able to stand tall because I didn’t have to pull and tug. I had enough material to cover what I didn’t want showing. That was one less thing I had to worry about. My confidence went back up, and I felt better about myself because now, I had clothes on that fit, and I looked cute.
In this situation, I had to change what I was wearing. I had to accept my new normal. My body was different. I could not hold on to what I use to be or who I would like to be in the future. I had to adjust to the person I was in the present.
I had to change.
Change is going to happen. If my mom had decided she wasn’t going to change the way she was feeding me, she would have done harm to her child. If I hadn’t changed and bought clothes that fit, my confidence would have taken a major hit. When our confidence is low, we don’t make good decisions. If my confidence had been low, what would my chances have been of breaking the American Record that year?
When we are resistant to change, we don’t just do harm to ourselves. We also harm those around us. The decisions we make affect everything and everyone around us – our family, friends, spouse, coworkers – and even strangers.
I encourage you to embrace the change or changes you need to make in order to be your best you. When you change to be your best, others around you follow suit. Then we are all out there, being our best.
Every year I strive to be my best. That changes every year, but I strive to improve and to get better. And in some areas of my life, I’m just trying not to go backwards.
I pray that 2019 will be your best year yet. Be your best, and even when things go wrong and you come across hard times, choose to keep pushing forward. Don’t give up. Stay positive. Be kind to yourself. Forgive yourself and others. I pray that you not only reach your goals this year, but that you crushthem!
Happy New Year!
Until next time,
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you, and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Published on Friday, January 18, 2019 @ 10:04 PM CDT